14 tháng 3, 2009

What should yough people do

Being a human, we usually show the same manner when we process / receive / learn / handle things or people. That is having a great expectation on people more than ourself. We always say or think something like
  • "Why does this javascript library only support those browsers" - Although that guy doesn't really know what other feature is
  • "Can you explain this technique in simplest way in order we can get the basic ideas" - Although latter he may say "This stuff also has a lot cool features. Why don't you present them at the beginning"
  • "Hey, that guy likes an idiot. How can he say that." -Although they don't realize the idea behind
  •  ...
That's normal. I know because I'm too. But I would like to find out the reason, at least the one I can understand, not very fancy. After observing people in my office, I see why. When you have to get new thing / idea (usually bad, trouble or you don't really like it). There are two kind of response
  1. You ask the author of thing / idea all questions come up from your mind even ones that people expect you to answer or do. We almost fall to this kind and I think if you aren't this type of person, it's a bit difficult to work with them.
  2. You receive the basic info and then go on your own way. If you need some extra, you'll ask latter. This type of person usually don't show their opinion right way and they tend to see the issue in their own view. Maybe it isn't quite correct but they like to.
The manner having great expectation on other people is used usually by people in first type. I think the possible reason is that it is easy to criticize anything that you don't involve. Is it true ? At least it's the scenes I have seen. Therefore, if you want to be somebody that is different, a little bit special, why don't we jump to the second one? It isn't bad. Just behave in opposite manner. I know it sounds pure theory but the best way to get to know something new is "just do it" (I learned from my delivery director).

I think, when you are trying to do that, actually you are improving yourself (more technical, refactoring yourself. :-). Basically, people isn't perfect when they were born, so you are allocated a 30 years timeframe to be better enough for future.I have been refactoring myself a year ago. Maybe it's not long enough but better late than never.

To train myself, I always do following things:
  • think first, don't give any opinion or conclusion
  • understand other's view about the issue before resolve in my own way
  • reading
  • asking, even it's silly question
  • guide people what thing I know, that is the best way to review and improve communication skills
  • smile
  • sense of humor
Do you know the message I want to say. hopefully you do :-)